Even before I became a mom, I feel like I've 
always wondered how I would teach or protect my   toddler because I watch like a lot of thrillers, 
crime movies, and they have really put me in a   state of paranoia, even before I had a child. And 
now that I have a child, I'm trying to find a way   for him to protect himself from sexual predators, 
because the reality is that they are out there.   I have done my research, and I've been able to 
find out ways to help my toddler protect himself.  First thing I would say is to teach your toddler 
the body parts by name.

So you call the penis,   a penis. You call the vulva, a vulva. You call 
the vagina, a vagina. I have a family member   that would call it a boutique. And I remember how 
we will joke that, "What are they selling?" But,   yeah. Don't go around calling it a different 
name, because what research shows is that,   it kind of makes your child link the private 
parts to shame. And so when you link it to shame,   it seems like something they shouldn't talk 
about, something they are not able to share.   With Suyi when we're having bath time, when he's 
pointing to his shoulder, he's pointing to his   penis, and he would call it the actual word 
penis.

So I don't even think he realizes it's   anything special, actually. And I'm like, "Okay, 
that's good." One take. Let's let's keep moving.  Okay. So I've taught him his body 
part. He knows not to be ashamed of it.   What's the next step? So the next step would 
be consent. Now, what this means is that   when Grandma comes, do not say, "Go give grandma a 
hug." You tell your toddler, "Do you want to give   grandma and hug?" So this gives your child 
some sense of ownership to their body,   and they know they have a right to say no, 
if an adult wants to do anything to them. So   being that you can't communicate this with 
words, you can communicate this with actions.   And when your child says, "No," you say, "Okay, 
no hug. That's good. Good job owning your body."  So I've been trying to do that a lot recently. 
I know I've been guilty of telling Suyi,   "Be nice. Go give Auntie a hug," and stuff like 
that.

Recently, I've tried to take a step back.   Even with us, "Do you want to give Mommy a kiss? 
Do you want Mommy to kiss your forehead? Do you   want Mommy to kiss your cheeks?" That's 
what I do now. I try to also take consent,   being that every other adult would need to 
take a consent with him. And he knows he can   say no. And I let him know it's okay to say no.
Now the next step, I would say, if for any reason   anything happens to your child, you want your 
child to be able to communicate this to you.

So   what I have learned from my research is that you 
need to teach them emotions. So you need to…   Let's move around a bit. One sec. Sorry guys, 
the room was hot. So back to what we were saying.   Trying to teach your child… Let me just sit 
for a sec. How do you teach them emotions?   So you have to teach them their emotions 
just so that they know how to come to you,   how to express themselves if something happened. 
"Mommy, I'm hurt. Mommy, I'm sad. Mommy, I'm   angry. Mommy, I'm scared." So teach them these 
words. Use every opportunity. So when you see   your child is scared, come to them, "Oh, you're 
scared?" Let them know that word, let them know   that feeling, so that they know how to express 
themselves to you, when they're in such situation.  Okay. Now the fourth thing was books and 
shows. So I use these books with Suyi.

We read,   and it's a fun way for them to learn about 
boundaries and consent. In one of these books,   we'll be drawing our body boundaries, and 
talking about oh! how this girl didn't want to   have a high five, and that was okay. She said no, 
and then she felt like it was okay to get a high   five. And that was okay too, when she said yes. 
It's just a fun way. Books and shows on YouTube,   you can just Google it. You'll find so many 
cartoons and animations that talk on that.   So definitely, I think that that's 
really a fun way that they subconsciously   get sensitized about things like this.
Finally, the most important thing is,   do not overreact with your child.

When your child 
brings something to you that they did wrong,   they bring something that shouldn't be in 
their mouth. You see it in their mouth,   and they're bringing it to you, put in your hand, 
or they're holding a knife, or something silly.   Do your best. I hold the African parent in me, 
and I hold it in, and then I commend him, "Good   job Suyi , for bringing that to Mommy.

Good job. 
But you have to be careful. This can cut you. This   can hurt your tummy. This can…" Whatever this 
could cause, I let him know the harmful effects   of being with this item, and why he shouldn't be 
with it, like a reminder, but I do not overreact.  Just because with molestation or anything of 
that sort, predators can tend to make your child   or your children feel at fault. So when they feel 
like they did something wrong, and every time   they've done something wrong and they've come to 
you, and you've overreacted, they are most likely,   100% not going to come to you when something like 
that happens.

And especially for toddlers, it's so   important because it's going to be hard for you 
to break it down that, "Oh, I'm overreacting,   not because you did something 
wrong, just because I'm upset."  It's too much. They wouldn't get that. They only 
can do one plus one is two, which is, you come   to Mommy when you do something wrong, Mommy is 
mad. That's it. So yes, do not overreact. And   yeah, that's pretty much my tips for consent 
and sex education with your toddlers. And if   you liked it, remember my people, like, subscribe, 
hit the notification bell, let YouTube know you   loved this video so that they keep suggesting my 
video. Thank you all for watching, and God bless..